I opened my eyes to find Brad laying on his pillow looking at me in the morning light. I smiled and closed them again, not sure that I was ready to face another day.
"Come on sleepy head, wake up."
I stretched and opened my eyes. "What time is it?"
"About 10:00. What time did you want to get back?"
"Not too late... around 4:00."
"We should leave in about an hour then." He pulled me into his arms and held me. "Probably not enough time for a flogging then this morning."
I almost laughed, but I wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not. I was still exhausted from the previous night.
"How are you feeling?" He gently played with my hair and brushed it back from my face.
"Physically or emotionally?"
"Both."
"Well, my leg muscles are sore and my bottom feels a little over used."
"Oh, poor thing." He rubbed my butt playfully.
"Emotionally, I feel empty... or maybe it’s full, I can’t tell."
"Interesting description. Maybe it’s both."
"I think I need some time to digest all this."
"Well, let’s go down and get some breakfast and say good-bye to the others." He slid out of bed and pull out a pair of shorts out of the drawer. "You may dress in whatever you want to wear home today."
"Clothing?" I teased. "What a concept." I was surprised how comfortable I had become to being naked. When I opened by suitcase, I realized I hadn’t taken anything out of it all weekend. I pulled out a sleeveless summer dress that buttoned up the front. After freshening up in the bathroom, we walked down to breakfast together.
"Well good morning you two," greeted Warren from the dining room table. He was having breakfast with Troy, Allison, Vince and Barbara. The table was spread a variety of danishes and croissants. "We missed you last night in the dungeon."
"I’m sure you found your other guests plenty entertaining without us." Brad pulled out my chair and I exchanged glances with Allison as I sat. She was glowing and seemed surprised that I was wearing clothing.
"I took Joni up the road to the vista point you showed me once. Breathtaking view last night with the full moon."
"The only full moon I was looking at last night was Allison’s," laughed Troy. "Show them your pretty little marks this morning." She shyly stood up and displayed several red welts on her buttocks and thighs. "You’re such a little pain slut," he said, kissing her on the ass. She laughed and then sat back down on her chair.
"Where are the others?" asked Brad.
"Marsha took on all three of her subs last night, so I’ll be surprised if she can even walk this morning."
"Triple penetration, Brad," explained Troy. "You really missed a show."
"Miranda and Bridget are tied up together in my room," laughed Warren. "I’m not untying them until they learn to get along."
Brad shook his head and laughed as he ate his danish.
"And Peter and Gretchen left early this morning with Luis and Mary. They were going to some leather faire in the city today."
"We’re going to take off soon ourselves," explained Brad. "The weekend has gone by too quickly."
"Yes, damn it, it has." Warren sighed and looked around the table. "I just love getting together with like minds. Actually, I’ll be down in the South Bay next week. Maybe we can all get together for an evening then."
"Just let us know the date," Troy said eagerly.
I had a feeling I wouldn’t be joining them. The weekend had seemed like a once-in-a-lifetime experience for me. I couldn’t see trying to live a dual life much longer. As it was, I didn’t know how I was ever going to say good-bye to Brad and I wasn’t ready to say good-bye to Mark.
In my mind it had never really seemed like an affair. It was more of an adventure – an experiential awakening. But the more time I spent with Brad, and the more emotionally involved I was becoming, and the more it would become an affair.
"You’re certainly deep in thought this morning, Joni." Warren rubbed his chin with his hand like a scholar.
I smiled and looked down at my plate. "Just tired I think."
"I’m afraid we’ve worn her out," teased Brad, pushing my hair back from my face.
"What a night!" Warren slapped his leg and leaned back in his chair. "When I came in the tight little ass of yours and you squirted all over my legs... damn... that’s an image that will get me hard until the day that I die."
I felt the heat rush to my face and stared at the uneaten danish on my plate. Brad tried to lighten the topic and created an opening for us to leave.
"Well, I guess our work here is done then." He stood up from the table and shook Warren’s hand. "Thanks for a lovely weekend. Troy, I’m glad you and Allison could make it."
"It’s been great," agreed Troy. Allison gave me the ‘I’ll call you when I get home’ look as I waved good-bye.
"Have someone bring my car around then, Warren, and we’ll go finish packing."
"Will do. Drive carefully."
I was grateful that Warren didn’t feel inclined to kiss me goodbye or have one last friendly fuck before we had to go. Even though I would have said that I had had a good time, I was grateful to be leaving. I was tired of being on stage and on edge.
We were both silent for the first hour of the drive home. I watched the rows of grapevines pass in perfect unison as the car moved along the country roads. The scenery became less interesting when we hit the freeway and headed south.
I looked at Brad’s profile and thought about the first day we had met. How was it that he moved me over a cup of coffee and some pie? What was it about me that reacted to him differently than I did Mark? If I wanted to be submissive, why wasn’t I just submissive with my husband? Why did it take a stranger to put me in that place.
Brad looked over and smiled. "I can hear those wheels turning all the way over here."
"That loud, huh?"
I pushed the armrest up between us and lay down with my head on his lap. He stroked my body lovingly with his free hand.
"So what are thinking about?" he asked.
"My dual life."
"You’re a secret agent?" he teased.
"Hmm... do you think that would hold up in a court of law?"
"Doubtful."
I rolled over on my back so I could look up at him. He took the liberty of unbuttoning the top buttons of my dress so he could fondle my breasts.
"Well, there’s Joni the happy housewife and Joni the orgasmic slave. How do I merge the two?"
"Do you have to merge them?"
I thought about his question for a moment. "I think so. Or I have to pick one and let the other go."
"Tough choices."
"I don’t suppose you could turn my husband into a Dom."
"Probably not." He looked down and smiled at me, then looked back down the road. "But you might be able to."
"How?"
"Being submissive is a state of mind. Granted it would be more work for you to put yourself in that position rather than having someone put you there, but it can be done. It’s possible that if you maintain a submissive posture around your husband, he may start to generate more dominant behaviors."
"Interesting theory."
"It’s like people who go to church to feel spiritual. Not everyone needs to pray with a congregation to feel that way. Some people are can feel that way at home in their flower gardens."
"I had no idea you were so deep." He looked down at me and I winked at him.
"There’s a lot about me you don’t know." He pinched my nipple hard and didn’t let go.
"Ow!" I cried, grabbing his hand.
"Ow is not a safe word, Joni," he laughed.
"Yellow! Yellow! Yellow!"
"Good girl."
He released his grip and soothed my nipple with the palm of his hand. I held it over my breast and kissed his arm. I wondered if what he had said was true. Was there a part of Mark that would be dominant if I were more submissive?
I closed my eyes and drifted with the steady sound of the road beneath us until I fell asleep. It wasn’t until the car came to a stop in Brad’s driveway that I awoke.