MY SISTER JEAN

            Chapter 13  --  Safety of the Telephone

                  I never imagined that she would do something so
            blatantly provocative and sexual as placing her soiled
            panties under my pillow. Oh, I knew what an emotional charge
            her panties were and I supposed I thought she didn't. Yet,
            it had all started with her panties.  Our first steps of
            this erotic journey were taken when I'd teased her about her
            soiled underpants.  We'd treated it in a lighthearted,
            teasing way since, even when I thought to myself, "She has
            no notion what a sexually provocative symbol her panties are
            for me." And, not wanting to reveal too much, to become too
            vulnerable, I never told her.  I never confessed what a
            gut-wrenching response her intimate apparel produced in me.
            Or at least I didn't think I had.  In fact, I was acutely
            aware that the carelessness with which she had previously
            shown with her soiled undergarments had changed.  She no
            longer carelessly left them in the bathroom as before.  I
            had been unable to get my daily pheromones fix in months.  I
            assumed she had a hamper in her room, but I'd made a promise
            to myself that I wouldn't violate her privacy again.  So
            far, I'd been able to keep that promise.

                  Now, suddenly finding this silken thing under my
            pillow, delicious memories and feelings came flooding back.
            That she had called a few minutes before to tell me to look
            under my pillow carried so many messages.  Chief among those
            was, 'Let's play, Billy.'

                  We'd recently given ourselves permission to be more
            honest and open about our sexual feelings for each other
            and, at the same time, admitting our fears, had agreed not
            to have sex.  'God, what does that mean?' I wondered.  'Not
            having sex.'  Just what is  'not having sex' anyway?  By my
            lights, we'd  'had sex' several times.  Oh, we hadn't done
            the dirty deed, but if what we'd experienced wasn't having
            sex, then what is?  We'd been thrown together several times,
            picked up and tossed about by forces whose strength awed us.
            Each time that happened, we had withdrawn, shaken and dazed,
            wondering,  'Where is this going?'

                  Touching the black silk of  Jean's "unmentionables"  I
            was thrilled. She'd worn these.  Recently.  They'd been on
            her body.  On her butt. Between her legs!  My resolves were
            fading away.  It's true, I thought, My dick has no
            conscience.'

                  Flattening the crotch of her panties, I studied it.
            They were slightly damp to the touch.  On the periphery of
            the damp spot was a faint whitish dry area.  I'd seen that
            before.  Her essence, right there.

                  Looking closely, I found a few curly hairs.  Yes!
            Pubic hair!  A thrill shot through me and another ratchet of
            my madness slipped.  I was teasing myself.  Delighting
            myself.  This slow, measured -- even controlled unfolding of
            a treasure -- heightened my arousal.

                  I kept for last the real prize, the scent.  I was
            already dizzy with desire and hard with my lust.  Bringing
            the panties to my face, I slowly inhaled, allowing her
            intimate fragrance to titillate my olfactory senses.  The
            seductive power of her scent ripped through me, much like a
            whiff of ammonia.  I felt it climb up into my nose, seeming
            to pass through some impossible route, directly into my
            frontal cortex. I fell back, clutching her panties to my
            nose, unthinking, a mass of jangling, unstable sexual
            neurons, randomly discharging like some mad fireworks
            display.  I was gone.  I never had a chance.

                  Then I opened the note.  There was only one line.  It
            said: "I want to do it with you...on the phone."

                  I shoved my arms between my legs, humping against
            myself as I curled up in a fetal ball.  No question.  I was
            just gonna die!

                  A little while later -- seemed like days -- the phone
            rang again. Almost in a stupor I answered, "Jean?"

                  She laughed and then in that breathy voice
            characteristic of her excitement, she said, "You found them.
            What do you think?"

                  "That I've died and gone to heaven.  Besides that, I
            can't think at all. What're you *doing* to me?"

                  "Remember we said we'd explore things with each other?"

                  "Sure.  But we didn't."

                  "Well, I don't know about you, big boy, but I've been
            afraid."

                  "Of me?" I asked.

                  "Partly that, I guess."  She paused, and then added,
            "But more of me."

                  Not attempting to *act* dumb, I said, "I don't
            understand."

                  "I didn't suppose you would.  We think differently, you
            and me.  I suppose it may be a 'girl thing' but anyway...to
            be honest, you have some power over me..."

                  I interrupted, "I have power over YOU?  Come ON Jean.
            You're the one with the power.  You should see me right now.
            I'm almost twitching!"

                  "Good," she laughed.  "But it's true.  Feel however you
            want, when you turn on the current, I'm a goner, so this is
            the only way I feel safe relating to you.  Sexually, I
            mean."

                  "Phone sex?  Jean, you mean we live in the same house,
            right next to each other and we're...we're reduced to phone
            sex?"

                  "Pretty kinky, huh?  I thought you'd like it.  It *is*
            all right, isn't it, Billy?"

                  "Jean, if it were the only way I could talk with you,
            I'd get off on your smoke signals!  Actually, it *is* kinky
            and you're right, it appeals to me. Safe, isn't it?"

                  "That's it!  That's the point of it, brother mine.
            Because I've been afraid of you and more, afraid of myself,
            I've been inhibited, even withdrawn around you.  I've been
            afraid to tell you what I'm feeling and particularly afraid
            of allowing myself to get turned on around you. This way, I
            figure we can open up with each other, do anything we want
            and no matter how crazy we feel, how crazy we get, we're
            safe."

                  "Jean, you're so cerebral.  You're so well thought out.
            What're you gonna be, a college professor or somethin'?"

                  "I didn't leave my panties under your pillow and then
            call you to talk about college, stud muffin.  I want to know
            this: Is it true that boys get really hot when they smell a
            girl's...uh, underwear?"

                  I'd stripped for action -- whatever I thought that
            might have been -- and was wearing only an old sleeveless
            sweat shirt.  I had wrapped her panties around my erect
            cock; just the dusky head of my dick was poking out.  "If
            you could see me now, Jean, it'd answer that question."

                  "Tell me.  Tell me, Billy!"

                  "Jean, you must know.  When I first saw them there, I
            became excited. Right away.  Touching them, feeling them,
            got me more turned on.  But what nudged me over was the
            smell of you.  I don't know what that is, but it just jolts
            me.  Anyway, I'm lying here, horny and hard and I've wrapped
            your panties around my hard-on.  It's all I can do to resist
            stroking myself and coming right now!"

                  "I *thought* you liked me...that you liked the smell of
            me, but I wasn't sure.  You know what it's like, don't you?
            I mean, we get all sorts of messages...like it's dirty down
            there...things like that.  And I *know* it's not dirty, but
            still..."

                  I didn't want to talk about "messages."  I wanted to
            get sexy with this woman, so I told her what I was thinking.
            "Jean," I began -- I often addressed her by name when I
            wanted to make a point -- "right now, in my mind, I have a
            fantasy about you."

                  She whispered, "Oh, yes!  Tell me."

                  "You're standing on my bed.  I'm looking up at you.  We
            don't talk. I ask you with my eyes.  You slowly pull up your
            full skirt.  First I can see your thighs.  Then your
            panties.  Your legs are apart.  You step over me and I'm
            looking right up into you."

                  "God!  I love the thought of you looking at
            me...looking under my dress...at my panties.  I'm *such* an
            exhibitionist!  Geez, I'm getting wet."

                  Slowly stroking myself, I close my eyes and let the
            imagery flow, giving voice to the cine' in my head.  "You
            squat a little, right over my head, closer and closer.  Then
            you pull the crotch of your panties up into your pussy, into
            your slit.  I can see your pussy lips, Jean"

                  "Yes...yes...I can see it too.  I've dreamed of doing
            something like this...so slutty...I can't believe myself.
            God, I'm getting hot!"

                  "I can see your pussy hair, Jean...the curls, the wet
            curls . . . you're wet, Jean!"

                  "No, I'm SOAKING!  It's running out of me."

                  "Pulling your panties back and forth through your pussy
            slit, you slowly squat lower and lower.  I can see the
            stitching of your panties, you're so close.  Now I can hear
            you...smell you."

                  "Listen to this, Billy."

                  And then I could hear a wet, squishy sound.  Jean was
            masturbating and I guess, holding the phone by her crotch.
            Farther away, I could hear her moaning.  Then closer, she
            added, "Can you hear that?"  Do you know what that is?
            That's me.  That's how wet I am."

                  We were two trains running.  Me with a monologue of my
            imagery, she commenting on my words.  Neither could be
            derailed at this moment.

                  "You yank your panties aside and I can see into
            you...right into your pink, swollen, wet cunt!  You're
            drooling.  I can see pussy juice running back into the crack
            of your ass...down your thigh."

                  "Ungh...I love it...I love it.  I'm so loose, so
            open... keep talking to me, Billy.  Please, please...don't
            stop."

                  "You spread your pussy lips apart and lower yourself
            closer to me. All I can see is your pussy hair, your open
            cunt...wet and swollen and open for me."

                  "Ungh...ungh...I'm gonna come, Billy.  Gonna come..."

                  "Your legs are weakening.  You're sinking lower.  Your
            pussy is right above my mouth.  Your juice is dripping onto
            my lips."

                  She had stopped talking.  All I could hear was a
            rhythmic grunting. "Ungh...ungh..." that I recognized at the
            involuntary sounds Jean made approaching her orgasm.  She
            wasn't alone.

                  "I reach up with the tip of my tongue and run it up
            through your slit. It's coated with your juices.  I touch
            your clit.  You sink onto my mouth.  I fuck my tongue into
            your cunt...I smell your musty smell!"

                  Jeans' grunting ran into an explosive sound...then a
            long breath followed by a protracted moan that tailed off to
            a thin wail, "Come...coming, Billy...coming."

                  Then all I could hear was her breathing.  I hadn't
            come.

                  I was surprised.  I was so excited and so hot.  I
            couldn't believe that I was still hanging there.  Actually,
            it wasn't the feeling of hanging at all.  It was more like
            drifting along on some sexual plateau of heightened
            sensitivity, heightened awareness.  I didn't feel frustrated
            or unfulfilled.  I just felt good.

                  I'd heard from Jean once that girls complained that
            guys got their's and then just rolled off, leaving them
            frustrated and not knowing how to ask for more.  Well, I'm
            so self-absorbed that I didn't want to be known as a
            jackrabbit.  I wanted to be viewed as the consummate lover.
            (Never having even done it yet!)  I'd started trying to hold
            off my orgasm when I masturbated, to stretch it out.  It
            went from impossible to difficult at first. But I was
            willing to practice. Every day!  I was dedicated that way.
            After awhile, I came to enjoy those sexual plateaus.  At
            times, I could extend them so long, I'd just slide back down
            the other side without having come.

                  I just did it again.

                  "You there, Billy?"

                  "Boy, am I!"

                  "Whew.  That was something!  That was *more* than I
            imagined it might be.  It was wonderful.  I LOVED it!"

                  A bit late, I asked, "What're you wearing, Jean?"

                  She laughed and said, "I thought that's what you asked
            me at the *beginning*."

                  "I'm just wearing a sweat shirt."

                  "Me too!  One of your old ones.  But right now it's up
            in my armpits. I'm holding my...myself.  My fingers are all
            wet.  God, the smell in here. *You'd* love it!"

                  "You have panties there?" I asked.

                  "Uh, sure...oh, there they are.  They're on the floor
            where I threw them."

                  "Do me a favor?"

                  "God, anything."  Then laughing, "Well, almost
                  anything."

                  "Use your panties.  Wipe yourself.  Wipe up your juices
            with 'em . . . stuff  em into your pussy.  Then give them to
            me tomorrow, okay?"

                  "God, you are *such* a horn dog, Billy!"

                  "Will you, Jean?"

                  "Of course I will.  You must know it thrills me that
            you want to smell me."

                  "That's not all that I want to do."

                  "Yeah, yeah.  We both know about that.  And so do I.
            You know that too.  But you also know how I feel about it.
            As much as I want to do it with you, I'm not gonna.  That's
            why I'm here and you're there!  I almost expect you to crawl
            through the phone wire and come out through the receiver.
            'Night, Billy.  I love you."

                  "Good night, babes.  Remember the panties!"